Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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