: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
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