i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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