But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
