the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
