I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
