can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
