Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo

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(410): View more from Maryland

cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

Fav 11 825 2332
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(813): View more from Florida

I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star

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(647): View more from Ontario

You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep

Fav 17 5890 1305
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(516): View more from New York

The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.

Fav 13 6735 1489
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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

Fav 11 5985 1489
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it

Fav 0 13 26
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