I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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