sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
