Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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