she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
