This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My vagina is officially offended.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
