"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
