How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
