I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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