apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
