Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
now i know why i became what i already was.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
