all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
