Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
