we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
