Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
In America we eat man semen.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
