apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
