Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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