Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
