So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
