you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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