I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
