I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
