I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
