chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
