We're like a lot better than the average bears
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
