just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
