i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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