WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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