They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
