is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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