There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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