i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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