woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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