The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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