Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
