nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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