I didn't shave. On purpose
are you so shy because you have an std?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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