I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
