Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
