Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
