omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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