Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
