it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
50% drunk capacity currently
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Randomize
